PEACH GOES ON GAME SHOWS!
by Hoogiman
Summary: Peach and Link have to save the fate of the other smashers by winning game shows! If they don't, a psychotic green monster kills them all! NUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEE!1 Episode 3: The weakest link! LINK VS. STEPHEN HAWKINS!
1. Sale of the century

PEACH GOES ON GAME SHOWS!1  
by Hoogiman

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Nintendo characters listed here.

**Episode One: Sale of the century!**

Peach and Link walked through the entrance of Smash Mansion, Link giving Peach an angry look.

"That was the worst weekend ever! Everyone threw tomatoes at us! I still can't believe you pumped helium into that flamingo!" said Link angrily.

"Sorry," replied Peach, "I thought it was a balloon!"

Link sighed.

"Where is everyone?" asked Link.

A green monster came in, cackling evily.

"Hahaha!" laughed the green monster, "I have kidnapped all of the other smashers!"

Link gasped.

"Even Kirby?" asked Peach.

"Even Kirby," replied the green monster.

"NUUUUEEE!1" screamed Peach.

"You don't even like Kirby!" said Link.

"Well… uh… pies…" said Peach.

"WTF?" replied Link.

"The only way to get your friends back is by going through an undetermined amount of game shows!" laughed the green monster, "One of you has to beat all of the other contestants, or your friends will be killed!"

"NUUEE!1" screamed Peach and Link.

"You will be teleported to your first game show, 'Sale of the century' now!"

The green monster cackled evilly.

"I can twist the rules to stop you from winning!"

"NUUEE!1" screamed Peach and Link.

Peach and Link teleported to the 'Sale of the Century' set.

"Welcome back!" said the host. "We are halfway through the show, and our current champion, Mike, is on 85 points, while Link is on 20 points, and Peach is on a low, idiotic, 0 points."

The host cleared his throat.

"Now for the questions!" said the host, "How many Altean lakes are there?"

"I know that!" said Link.

Peach pressed the buzzer.

"Peach, your answer?" asked the host.

"LINK KNOWS!" screamed Peach.

"Wrong answer Peach, you idiot," said the host bluntly, "Because we're not cruel enough to make you go into negative score, you remain on a grand total of, '0' points."

"Peach! You idiot! You should have just let me answer the question!" cursed Link.

The green monster teleported next to Link.

"If Mike wins the show, all of your friends will die!" said the monster.

"Peach, come on, we have to win!" said Link.

_Score:  
Mike: 85, Peach: 0, Link: 20_

"Next question," said the host, "Who gets kidnapped a lot, is a princess, and her name is also the name of a fruit?"

Link pressed the buzzer.

"Princess Peach!" said Link.

"Correct!" said the host, "5 points to you!"

_Score:  
Mike: 85, Peach: 0, Link: 25_

**A few minutes later…**

_Score:  
Mike: 100, Peach: 0, Link: 80_

"We have precisely **five **questions left," said the host. "For Link to win, he has to answer every single question right, and not let Mike score! What is twelve plus seven?"

Mike hit the buzzer.

"NUUE!1" screamed Link.

"Uh…" said Mike, "8?"

"Incorrect," said the host. "You lose five points!"

Link gave a sigh of relief.

_Score:  
Mike: 95, Peach: 0, Link: 80_

"Peach," said Link firmly, "Do not answer a single question… let me do all of the work… if you answer a question, all of the smashers die!"

"Okay," said Peach.

"Four questions left!" said the host. "What is Link's favourite food?"

Link pressed the buzzer.

"Hyrulian Cookies!" said Link.

"That is incorrect," said the host.

"I'D THINK I'D KNOW MY FAVOURITE FOOD, SEING THAT I'M **LINK!1**" screamed Link.

"Well then… uh… it is correct…" said the host.

_Score:  
Mike: 95, Peach: 0, Link: 85_

"Three questions left!" said the host. "If Mike answers a question correct, he will win the show! What are the colours of the Swiss flag?"

Link pressed the buzzer.

"Red and white!" said Link.

"Correct!" said the host.

"Did you know that Santa is red and white?" asked Peach.

"Peach, just sit there, and don't do anything! Okay?" asked Link.

"Okay!" said Peach.

Peach did nothing.

_Score:  
Mike: 95, Peach: 0, Link: 90_

"Two questions left!" said the host. "How many days are there in a year?"

Link hit the buzzer.

"365," said Link.

The green monster appeared.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!1 HE MEANT LEAP YEARS!" laughed the monster. "JOO WERE WRONG!1 YOU LOST THE GAME! NOW FOR THE SMASHERS TO DIE!"

_Score:  
Mike: 95, Peach: 0, Link: 85_

"NUUUEEE!1" screamed Link.

Link and Peach started crying.

"I'm crying because our friends will be killed!" sobbed Link.

"I'm crying because this is a badly constructed fic!" sobbed Peach.

"I'm crying because Happy Days is over!" sobbed Fonzie.

"Wait! I've got an idea!" said Link.

Link got out a marker pen, and put a dash next to Mike's score.

"And you thought it would be that quick!" laughed Link, "Now Mike's score is minus 95!"

"NUUUEEE!1" screamed the monster. "Curses! My plan has been foiled! I will have to think of another game show that you will have to beat! NUUE!1"

Peach and Link started sighing sighs of relief.

"I'm sighing sighs of relief because the smashers aren't going to die yet!" said Link.

"I'm sighing sighs of relief because of the same reason too!" said Peach.

"You can buy Happy Days on DVD!" said Fonzie.

"Worst… fic… ever…" growled the green monster, "I'll get you next time Peach and Link, next time!"

Credits scroll.


	2. The Weakest Link, Part 1

PEACH GOES ON GAME SHOWS!1  
by Hoogiman

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Nintendo characters listed here.

**Episode Two: The Weakest Link, Part One**

"Well, that was a close one," said Link, sighing.

"I know!" said Peach, "I just hope we can get our friends back!"

"Hahaha!" laughed the green monster, reappearing, "I am going to send you to the hardest game show, in the history of mankind!"

Peach and Link gasped.

"Have fun!" laughed the green monster, "I know I will! When your friends die!"

Peach and Link were teleported to the set of 'The Weakest Link'.

Link gasped. "This is the show where not necessarily the smartest wins!"

"Welcome back," said the host. "We have three contestants left: Link, Peach, and… Stephen Hawking."

"Haha, isn't he that stupid horror movie writer?" asked Peach.

"Uh… Peach, he's the super genius guy," said Link.

"I never liked his novels anyway!" said Peach, "The shinning, that didn't make any sense!"

"Peach, Stephen Hawking is one of the world's smartest men!" said Link angrily.

"I didn't get the movie, why did the guy go crazy?" asked Peach, "I mean, whoever this Stephen guy is, he must be really stupid-"

"Peach! You are talking about Stephen King! This is Stephen Hawking!" said Link.

"Oh," said Peach.

…

…

"And it's the Shining, not, the Shinning!" said Link angrily.

"Oh! What was I thinking?" laughed Peach.

…

…

"So anyway, with the movie, The Shinning," said Peach.

"Now cast your votes," said the host.

Link sighed.

"Who do you vote for elimination, Mr. Hawking?" asked the host.

"Peach," said Stephen Hawking.

"What about you, Link?" asked the host.

"Peach," sighed Link.

"I can't believe you! I thought we were in this together!" cried Peach.

"I assume you voted for Link?" asked the host.

"Uh… whoops, I don't know how, but I voted for me," laughed Peach.

…

"I guess that's me, typical ol' Peach!" laughed Peach.

Nobody else laughed.

"Peach, you are the weakest link, goodbye!" said the host.

**Next chapter: ZOMG STEFEN HAWKING VS. LINK!1**


	3. LINK vs STEPHEN HAWKINS!

PEACH GOES ON GAME SHOWS!1  
by Hoogiman

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Nintendo characters listed here.

**Episode Three: LINK VS. STEPHEN HAWKING**

"I can't believe you voted me off!" sobbed Peach.

"You voted yourself off!" replied Link angrily.

"Oh well," said Peach.

"How am I going to possibly outwit Stephen Hawking?" asked Link.

"Don't worry, I've got a plan!" said Peach.

"Really?" replied Link.

Peach pulled out a blueprint for a space shuttle powered by glue.

"Here!" said Peach.

Nobody laughed.

"Geddit? A plan? You know, how 'blueprint' is a synonym of 'plan'?" asked Peach.

Nobody laughed.

"Fine then! I'll force you to laugh!" said Peach.

Peach ran inside, with a giant gas canister.

"Hahaha! This is laughing gas! Now you'll have to laugh!" laughed Peach.

Nobody laughed.

"Hahaha! This is laughing gas! Now you'll have to laugh!" laughed Peach.

Nobody laughed.

"WTF? Arthritis gas?" asked Link.

"Oops, wrong canister," said Peach.

"My fingers are becoming stiff and things!" said Link.

"UGdfuiv, iyfsgui," said Stephen Hawking's talking program.

"What's wrong with Stephen?" asked Peach.

"Peach, you're a genius! He can't type properly now that his fingers contain arthritis and can't move properly!" said Link.

"Now for, sudden death!" said the host, "If in one round of sudden death, one person answers right and one does not, that person wins, The Weakest Link!"

"It's in the bag!" said Link.

"Stephen Hawking… how do you spell Askgrafadas?" asked the host.

"WTF? That's not a word!" said Link.

Stephen Hawking's fingers bashed themselves onto the keyboard.

"We've won!" said Link.

"A…" said Stephen's talking computer.

"S… K… G… R… A… F… A… D… A… S…" said Stephen's talking computer.

"Correct!" said the host.

"WTF? That's not a word!" complained Link.

"Link, what is your favourite place to holiday?" asked the host.

"WTF? That's not a question!" said Link angrily.

"Incorrect, the correct answer was, 'The Hotel down the street'. Stephen Hawkins wins!"

"NUEEZ!1" screamed Peach and Link.

The green monster appeared.

"Hahaha, when the host shakes hands with Stephen Hawkins, he wins!" laughed the evil monster.

"NUEEZ!1" screamed Link, throwing a conveniently placed spear found in the studio into Stephen Hawkins.

Stephen Hawkins died.

"Link wins by default!" said the host.

"NUEEZ!1" said the goblin.

"YAYZ!1" said Peach and Link.

"Worst… fic… ever…" growled the green monster, "I'll get you next time Peach and Link, next time!"

Credits scroll.


End file.
